A controlled separation is a new approach in dealing with marital issues between spouses. The ultimate goal of this method is to save the marriage by working alongside a counselor, who will attempt to create a separation agreement with specific conditions. Let’s take a look at controlled separation details and what this process consists of for all parties involved.

What Is A Controlled Separation?

A controlled separation agreement can enable spouses going through marital problems to live individually, while working towards solutions with each other simultaneously.

This method has been quite successful when one spouse has seemed uncompromising regarding a divorce. Placing distance between the spouses and working individually with a counselor can give all parties a new perspective.

Controlled Separation Guidelines

There are some instructions for couples to adhere to that will be written up in the form of a contract. These instructions are subject to the couple and the specific issues they are dealing with.

Below are some general guidelines for what a controlled separation agreement may include.

Set A Deadline

The first step of this process is to agree on a deadline for the separation. Most spouses choose a deadline of three to six months. Spouses, however, do have the freedom to determine any such timeline for their separation agreement.

One Spouse Moves Out Of The House

Figure out which spouse will move out of the shared household at this time. Typically, the spouse earning the higher income will move out of the house.

DO NOT File For Divorce

In a controlled separation, it will be agreed upon that neither spouse will file for divorce during the process. If a divorce is to be filed, this decision must be made by both spouses.

Divide Finances

Finances should be divided during a controlled separation. There will now be two households to financially maintain during this process. It is crucial that both spouses feel secure with their finances throughout the separation.

Negotiate Time Spent Together

Time spent together can be negotiated. When the couple wishes to spend time together outside of the counselor’s presence, this can be worked out in the agreement. Time together is seen as a positive thing during a separation, especially when the couple has children.

Intimacy is another topic that can be approached at this time. Each spouse needs to be on the same level when it comes to continuing or discontinuing their sexual relationship during a separation.

Determine The Separation’s End Date

Couples should discuss privacy options when going through this process. For example, there needs to be a provision outlining specific terminology the spouse can use when clarifying the separation agreement to other individuals.

The last step is to determine the end date of the separation. Optimally, the spouses will agree to a timeline and refrain from filing for divorce. The objective of this method is to save the marriage, as mentioned above.

Why Should You Get A Controlled Separation?

Here are some common benefits of engaging in a controlled separation:

• Spouses can experiment with more freedom while living independently.
• It will end the fighting between couples.
• Gives both spouses ample time to cool off.
• Offers the chance to grow and truly determine roles within a marriage.
• When spouses do not reconcile, this separation offers spouses the chance for a cordial divorce process.

Source: “What Is A Controlled Separation?” Live About https://www.liveabout.com/what-is-a-controlled-separation-1103153