5 ‘Hard Truths’ About Marriage

Getting married is one of the most fulfilling yet challenging excursions in life. Whereas we usually enter it with high hopes, the fact is that marriage is a lifelong learning experience.

If you can accept these five hard truths concerning marriage now, you’re more probable to have an enjoyable and prosperous relationship:

1. Love By Itself Is Not Enough to Hold a Marriage Together.

A lot of couples believe that because they love each other, everything else is going to click. However, love doesn’t automatically work out variations in communication styles, personal morals or long-term objectives.

What truly keeps a marriage together is commitment, effort and the openness to adapt. Love can help keep the spark alive, however, it’s the day-to-day choices that really makes a difference.

How do you answer conflict? In what ways do you show up for one another? In what ways are you continuing to grow with each other? Those are the questions that establish how strong your marriage actually is.

2. You Are Going to Fight … A Lot.

One of the biggest misunderstandings concerning marriage is that truly compatible people don’t have arguments. Nevertheless, not only is conflict unavoidable, it’s also necessary. Actually, the lack of conflict probably means that important matters are being cast aside and ignored.

And it’s not the fighting that is detrimental to relationships — it’s how spouses choose to manage their disagreements. Healthy conflicts can bring spouses closer by opening the door to deep, meaningful discussions concerning wants and needs, which could then result in problem-solving.

It is advised to learn how to fight fair. No blaming each other, no obstructing and no personal attacks. Create a safe place in which you can each be honest and open without being judgmental.

3. Your Spouse Won’t — And Can’t Fulfil All Your Needs.

A lot of people enter a marriage believing their spouse is going to be their “everything” — their best friend, circle of support, cheerleader and troubleshooter. Whereas it’s natural to stick together for support, anticipating that one person is going to fulfill your every need is impractical.

Healthy spouses recognize the significance of individuality. Meaning maintaining individual friendships, interests, and objectives. Fostering a powerful self-identity outside of the marriage helps impede resentment and keeps the relationship from feeling smothering.

Don’t forget that a flourishing relationship is built on two complete, complementary individuals — not two halves attempting to complete one another.

4. Without Continual Maintenance, Your Marriage Is Going to Crumble.

Many couples undervalue how much work is needed to have a healthy marriage.

The honeymoon phase may feel easy, but after a while, life’s responsibilities — jobs, children, money, health — typically places the relationship lower on the list of priorities.

You should have routine check-ins and intentional quality time with each other. Just as you would not expect your car to run for a lifetime without routine maintenance, you can’t expect a marriage to flourish without continual care.

5. You Are Going to Both Change Individually.

You shouldn’t expect the person you married at 25 to be the same person when they are 45. People grow, priorities shift and personal circumstances change.

By accepting change instead of challenging it, you are going to come to realize the beauty and advantage in being able to see firsthand this evolution.

The most flourishing couples are the ones that adapt and grow with each other. Whereas spouses deviate from one another, they find motivation to keep loving each other each day. Meaning being accommodating to new experiences and providing one another with the room to evolve without feeling jeopardized by it.