It may be possible your spouse is in a state of denial about the future of your relationship so let them know in advance you need to have a serious discussion and when.
Find a time that is quiet without distractions.
Unsurprisingly, anger is a common reaction when a spouse realizes you want a divorce. Blame and arguments are commonplace.
Be clear in your message and the feelings you want to share. It is a good idea to start with an oversight of your situation and try to communicate the importance of the circumstances and clearly say you no longer want to be married.
Avoid criticism from the past as you cannot change the past. Neutral language, report your feelings and be empathetic.
Often your spouse will be angry and reactionary – so if you can remain calm and as unflapped as possible, you will be able to control your message.
If your spouse wants a trial separation, tell them it is not on the table and it is a divorce you want.
Do not make the error of being affectionate once the bad news has been delivered. You will need to maintain boundaries.
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