If you are contemplating whether or not to get divorce/separated, you must determine if your marriage can ultimately be saved. Consider the following factors below when figuring out if it is too late to save your marriage.
Signs A Marriage Cannot Be Saved
Of course, some marriages concerns, such as abuse, should be absolute deal-breakers. There are a few more signs that are not as clear to both spouses, though. While each problem needs to be taken seriously, you must keep in mind that deciding whether or not to ultimately separate is a very complex issue.
Divorce is undoubtedly difficult, but for many individuals it’s even tougher to live disconnected emotionally from your partner in a marriage. Let’s take a look at some of the warning signs below that suggest your marriage may not be salvageable.
Abuse
Abuse is the number one sign that your marriage needs to be dissolved. Abuse is never acceptable and no individual deserves to endure it. Make sure to keep in mind abuse comes in many forms. It can be physical, emotional, or verbal.
Infidelity
Infidelity is always a difficult experience to go through. Some marriages can survive infidelity, but cheating often results in separation or divorce. Typically, couples’ therapy is recommended if the spouses plan to save the marriage following any sort of infidelity.
Lack of Intimacy
While many couples may go through periods of time without much physical intimacy, it is usually a sign that there are underlying issues yet to be resolved.
Changing Priorities
It’s no secret that individuals can change throughout their marriage. Couples may be at an impasse if they had previously agreed on big lifestyle decisions like raising a family. If your goals and outlooks are no longer aligned, it’s possible the marriage is already too far gone.
Financial Problems
Whether one spouse racked up a large amount of debt or struggles to hold down a job, financial problems can certainly stain a marriage. No matter the source of financial troubles, this can cause serious conflict within a marriage.
Inability To Compromise
Compromising and communicating are keys to any successful union. If your marriage happens to be one-sided, you could be in a toxic relationship.
Addiction
It can be very hard to maintain a relationship with someone who refuses to seek treatment for addiction.
Other issues that could end a marriage include:
- Criminal behavior.
- Constant criticism.
- Lack of empathy/remorse.
- Bigamy.
Ways To Accept Your Marriage Is Over
It’s common for the spouse who doesn’t want a divorce to not understand why the other spouse isn’t willing to work on a marriage. It can be tough to accept a situation that you have no control over. Unfortunately, this can result in intense emotions that can manifest depression and anxiety. Leaving a failing marriage is often an emotional decision rather than an intellectual one. Below are a few ways to accept your marriage is finished.
Focus On Recovery
Of course, there is no magic solution for recovery after a divorce. All individuals will deal with the stress of a divorce in different ways. No matter the situation, getting through a painful and difficult time always takes practice and patience.
Outside Support
It’s always important to look outside your surroundings for help and support. Consider getting counseling or making time to volunteer for a cause close to your heart. When helping others, you may start to see outside yourself and into your future.
Embrace Your New Life
Marriage is all about partnership, and it’s okay if it is difficult to see yourself as an individual once again. However, it may be easier to embrace your new life if you start to consider yourself a single unit instead of part of a team. Make a list of your best attributes to kickstart the process.
Let Go
Bitterness and regret are often considered emotional poisons. Redirect your mind to positive thoughts whenever you sense darkness creeping in. Proactively think of things that make you happy and proud. Use these thoughts if sadness strikes out of nowhere.
Find Joy Around You
Make it a point to notice all the joy surrounding you. Take a peaceful walk in the park or put on one of your favorite shows. Your mood may not always lead you to these choices, so it’s important to be proactive in these situations.
Show Self-Awareness
Check in with yourself often throughout the day. Catch yourself from falling into a trap when you start to feel sad. See if you can identify any patterns, which will help you figure out your triggers and how you can better deal with them.
Plan For The Future
Try to visualize what your future may look like. Set small goals to move toward bigger aspirations. It’s important to choose an easily achieved goal. Try to hit that goal then focus on the next one. Baby steps are important to help you feel better about yourself moving forward.
Source:
“How To Accept That Your Marriage Is Over.” boydlawsandiego.com, https://www.boydlawsandiego.com/how-to-accept-that-your-marriage-is-over/
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