Collaborative Divorce: How The Process Impacts Your Children

When a divorce process is ongoing with children involved, sometimes the kids can be used as bargaining chips. For instance, a stay-at-home parent could attempt to withhold access from their spouse in an effort to claim more child support. Meanwhile, the working parent could attempt the exact opposite strategy. They might make a lowball offer of child support until the parenting agreement they desire is set in place.

Of course, these divorce tactics will only inevitably delay the process overall. The tactics may also increase the suffering of the involved children. Most parents do want the best for their children, so a collaborative divorce is the way to go. This process will ultimately make things easier on all parties involved, especially the children. Here is what you need to know about the benefits of a collaborative divorce process with children.

Reduced Fighting

Ongoing conflict is undoubtedly one of the most unfortunate parts of a divorce with children, especially from the kids’ perspective. When they hear their parents constantly arguing over their care, it can make them feel responsible for the tension at home. While older children may understand that this is not the case, younger children don’t always feel that same way. As a litigious divorce drags on, it can have a major impact on the children’s mental health, school performance, and overall well-being. 

A collaborative divorce with children, on the other hand, helps you and your spouse work together to create solutions for parenting time and custody without stepping foot in the courtroom. It allows you to approach issues in a more relaxed setting, which typically reduces stress.

Shorter Duration

A court-ordered divorce with children involved can take months to years to ultimately finalize. The longer the litigation lasts, the harder the entire process will be on everyone. With collaborative divorce, the parties can finalize the settlement without the court’s help. If all goes according to plan, your kids may not even realize you are divorcing until you discuss it with them. The goal in a collaborative divorce is to streamline the process as much as possible.

Involve Your Kids

With this type of divorce, you can choose to include your kids in some conversations with the help of a child specialist. Incorporating your kids into the process gives them a sense of control over their young lives. It also helps to reassure them that everything will be okay over time. Even though their parents will no longer be a married couple, it is positive to witness them working together.